8 Discreet, Quiet TENGA That Don't Look Like Sex Toys
Since the company's inception in 2005, TENGA has prided itself on producing sex toys that aren't explicit, embarrassing or easily recognisableas sex toys. The 2020 TENGA Global Self-Pleasure Report revealed that 20% of American men are too embarrassed to own a masturbator - so a discreet sex toy can make all the difference. If you're thinking about buying a sex toy but discretion is important, read on to find out which TENGA sex toys are the best buys.
Contents:
Why Should I Buy a Discreet Sex Toy?
Although owning a sex toy should never be something to be ashamed of, many people may not want to be open about their purchase. Maybe you live in shared accommodation or with family, want a masturbator you can take with you on trips without being judged, or you just don't like overly sexual designs. These are all reasons why people prefer to buy a discreet, quiet sex toy over other offerings.
What is a Quiet, Discreet Sex Toy?
First and foremost, we'll look at how discreet each of these products is, because that's the most important factor. Next, we'll go into how quiet they're, because that can make a difference even if the product isn't visibly a sex toy. We also go into what type of product it's, whether it's reusable or disposable. Since many people are looking for products that are easy to transport or take with them on trips, we'll evaluate the portability aspect. Finally, although this isn't the main point of this article, we'll also compare the cost of each of these items.
We'll be comparing our products using these categories with a score out of five:
Discretion: ★★★★★
Volume: 🔊🔊🔊🔊🔊
Portability: 🧳🧳🧳🧳🧳
Type: Reusable/Disposable/Electronic/Vibrating etc.
Price Range: ＄＄＄＄＄
TENGA’S Most Discreet Sex Toys
Here's our ranking of TENGA's most discreet sex toys in the following order: discretion, volume, portability and finally, price range.
TENGA 3D Series
The TENGA 3D Series are a good pick for people who love the super-stretchiness of the TENGA EGGs, but want a reusable item. We'd also recommend them to those who are worried about sizing issues with our other products.
Discretion: ★★★★★
We’re confident that unless someone investigated the TENGA 3D closely or asked you what it is, that it would remain unidentifiable as a sex toy. While it may be a bit larger than the TENGA EGG, the various designs of the TENGA 3D Series ensures it will look very decorative on your shelf.
Volume: 🔊・・・・
The TENGA 3D, as with the TENGA EGG, is one of the quietest products on this list, making very little noise during use.
Portability: 🧳🧳・・・
The TENGA 3D Series are some of the most easily portable reusable products on this list. While it is a bit difficult transporting the TENGA 3D in its full protective case, just the item in a bag is very easy.
Type: Reusable.
The TENGA 3D Series are reusable and just need simple cleaning and drying before being reused. The packaging comes with a drying stand integrated into its design.
Price Range: ＄＄＄・・
The TENGA 3D Series are reusable and just need simple cleaning and drying before being reused. The packaging comes with a drying stand integrated into its design.
TENGA GEO Series
If you’ve tried the TENGA EGGs before and enjoyed them but want a more reusable product then the TENGA GEO Series is perfect. The TENGA GEO offers a different sensation to the EGGs, but with the same stretchability.
Discretion: ★★★★★
As with the TENGA 3D and the crysta (further down our list), the TENGA GEO are almost undetectable by people unfamiliar with TENGA products. Plus their design are very aesthetically pleasing as any modern shelf ornament.
Volume: 🔊・・・・
An amazingly quiet product, the TENGA GEO shouldn’t make much noise during use.
Portability: 🧳🧳🧳・・
The TENGA GEO gets a couple of points deducted here for being slightly larger than both the TENGA EGGs and the TENGA 3D but can still be packed in a suitcase easily without detection.
Type: Reusable.
The TENGA GEO is a reusable product, so you only need to clean and dry as indicated in its manual for reuse. The packaging comes with a drying stand integrated into its design.
Price Range: ＄＄＄・・
The TENGA GEO is one of TENGA’s mid-range priced items, but definitely worth the cost if you’re looking to buy a reusable product similar to our popular TENGA EGGs.
TENGA crysta Series
The TENGA crysta Series is an amazing mix of both form and functionality in its design. Using some of the most advanced technology from TENGA, the TENGA crysta melds soft elastomer with firmer shapes embedded within.
Discretion: ★★★★★
As with the TENGA GEO, the TENGA 3D, and the TENGA EGGs we'll talk about later, the TENGA crysta is also one of the most discrete products on our list. Some reviewers have even described this product as an elegant desktop paperweight! It should easily avoid being recognised as a sex toy.
Volume: 🔊🔊・・・
Since the TENGA crysta has firmer shapes embedded within the elastomer, it could make a little more noise than some of the previously mentioned products. Not by a large amount though.
Portability: 🧳🧳🧳・・
The TENGA crysta loses a couple of points here for being slightly larger and needing to be cleaned for reuse. Nevertheless, it still remains one of the most portable options.
Type: Reusable.
The TENGA crysta is a reusable product, so you only need to clean and dry as indicated in its manual for reuse. The packaging comes with a drying stand integrated into its design.
Price Range: ＄＄＄・・
The TENGA crysta is another example of our mid-range products, but well worth the extra cost for a relatively discreet, quiet, reusable item.
TENGA SPINNER Series
The TENGA SPINNER Series has proven to be such a hit since the release of the original three SPINNERs that seven more SPINNERs have been launched! Using a unique coil embedded in the elastomer, the SPINNER offers a twisting sensation with each stroke.
Discretion: ★★★★★
While the TENGA SPINNERs may be one of the most popular TENGA products, the design is still discreet enough that most people won’t notice it. Should someone notice it, when fully packaged it may still be easily mistaken for a scientific decoration!
Volume: 🔊🔊🔊・・
As the SPINNERs offer an amazing twisting experience, there could be a bit more noise made than with our other products on the list. They still remain a relatively quiet though.
Portability: 🧳🧳🧳🧳・
While not the highest ranking of portable TENGA products, the SPINNERs packaging isn’t too large and can easily be stowed away for travel.
Type: Reusable.
The TENGA SPINNER Series are a reusable product, so you only need to clean and dry as indicated in its manual for reuse. The packaging comes with a drying stand integrated into its design.
Price Range: ＄＄＄・・
The TENGA SPINNER Series one of the most affordable reusable TENGA products, and definitely worth the cost for a reusable masturbator with an unbelievable spiralling sensation.
TENGA EGG Series
While the Standard CUP Series featured later down the list are our flagship products, the TENGA EGG Series are probably the most globally well known. These items are also sold whereever TENGA is available, making them easy to buy.
Discretion: ★★★★・
Of course, the TENGA EGGs are by far one of the most recognisable items on this list, but the design, shape and size more than compensate. Easily stowed away and/or hidden from sight after purchase, the EGG can be used and disposed simply.
Volume: 🔊・・・・
The TENGA EGGs are one of the quietest options on this list, and shouldn’t make any additional unwanted noises while being used.
Portability: 🧳🧳🧳🧳🧳
When it comes to portability, if you buy a single EGG then this it is possibly the most portable on this list. Not only is it the smallest item, but it is also designed with a shell for extra protection!
Type: Disposable.
The EGG is a single-use, disposable product. Simply use as directed, then dispose of in the same packaging. It's that easy!
Price Range: ＄・・・・
The TENGA EGGs, when you buy just one, are the one of the cheapest products that TENGA has to offer. Even the EGG Variety Packs are extremely affordable for the range of sensations you can try.
TENGA FLIP ORB Series
The TENGA FLIP ORB Series is the by far most affordable of the popular TENGA FLIP range. Offering interior orbs suspended within the elastomer, the FLIP ORB Series comes in both regular and strong versions.
Discretion: ★★★・・
The FLIP ORBs are relatively discreet, with a design that isn’t obviously noticeable as a sex toy. Since it is a reusable product, however, you will need to clean and leave the FLIP ORB out to dry, so for this reason it loses some points for discretion.
Volume: 🔊🔊🔊・・
While not the loudest product on this list by far, when in use the FLIP ORB can make a certain level of noise when used with lubrication. It is still relatively quiet though and shouldn’t be too noticeable.
Portability: 🧳🧳🧳・・
The FLIP ORB is portable and doesn’t require any charging like the FLIP ZERO EV (featured further down on this list), however, the FLIP ORB is still a lot larger than other items on this list and still needs drying after use.
Type: Reusable.
The FLIP ORB Series are all reusable and have an in-built stand for drying purposes.
Price Range: ＄＄＄・・
The FLIP ORB Series is the most inexpensive of the FLIP range and so is a great introduction product to one of our more expensive sex toy ranges but still want to keep your purchases within a certain budget.
TENGA STANDARD CUP Series
The Standard CUP Series are TENGA’s flagship products, launched back with the founding of the company in 2005. They have remained so globally popular that they stayed largely unchanged until their recent renewal for TENGA’s 15th Anniversary in 2020.
Discretion: ★★★・・
We can't help but deduct some points for the Standard CUP Series simply for them being one of the most recognisable of the TENGA products. While discreet, they are still designed with the signature TENGA red and silver stripes, the TENGA logo is also more prominently featured. If someone is unfamiliar with our brand, however, they are still pretty discreet!
Volume: 🔊🔊🔊🔊・
This can vary depending on the which CUP you buy. The Original Vacuum CUP for example should be relatively quiet by itself, but with the featured air hole in use, the noise levels may increase noticeably. While not the loudest TENGA product, it may still not be as quiet as desired when all in-built features are used.
Portability: 🧳🧳🧳🧳・
Size-wise the Standard CUP Series may lose a point, but because this is a disposable item the CUPs make for the perfect pick up and throw away on-the-go item.
Type: Disposable.
This product is designed for single use only, with easy use and clean up being one of the benefits of buying this item, sealed, pre-lubricated and ready to go.
Price Range: ＄・・・・
The Standard CUP Series are some of the cheapest products we have available. They are also disposable, however, so please keep that in mind.
TENGA FLIP ZERO EV Series
This may be one of out only lists where the FLIP ZERO EV won’t come out on top as the star product! Easily the most luxurious product available from TENGA, the popular FLIP ZERO EV comes with an additional two vibrating cores embedded, for all-encompassing stimulation.
Discretion: ★★★・・
While it may not be obviously a masturbator, the FLIP ZERO EV loses points for not only being a larger product that requires cleaning, but for needing to be recharged to use all features.
This means, obviously, that there are times it will need to be plugged in to charge. Despite that, if you have a lots of electronics the FLIP ZERO EV can blend in fairly easily.
Volume: 🔊🔊🔊🔊🔊
The usual biggest selling point of the FLIP ZERO EV is its weakest point on this list. In terms of quietness, due to being an electronic, vibrating product, there will be a lot of sound. The sensation is definitely worth it, but it might not be the right item for you if discretion is your priority.
Portability: 🧳🧳・・・
Tthe fact that the FLIP ZERO EV is one of the largest products on the list and is an electronic, rechargeable item means it loses a lot of points here. The battery life of the FLIP ZERO EV does last for a while, but you may need to take the charging cables with you for extended use over a longer period of time.
Type: Reusable/Electronic/Vibrating.
The FLIP ZERO EV is reusable, but is also the only rechargeable, electronic vibrating product on this list.
Price Range: ＄＄＄＄＄
Recommended by far for those looking for the most luxurious experience, it still has to be noted the FLIP ZERO EV loses most of its points due to being an item bought to be enjoyed at your leisure. With it being the most luxurious TENGA sex toy, the price reflects this!
The extra stimulation and sensations you will get from the vibration are well worth the extra cost though. Again, if discretion is your top priority though, we'd recommend other items from this list.
SUMMARY
If buying a discreet, quiet masturbator means you feel less pressured or stressed when you own and use it, then the clear winner of this list is the TENGA EGG! It's the smallest, quietest and most discreet product despite its high profile. Not to mention that it was designed with portability, ease of use and disposal in mind! However, all the products mentioned have their own advantages and disadvantages, so the product you find best for you is probably the best!
There should be no shame in owning a sex toy and using it to take your masturbation to a new level. That said, we understand that many people don't want to be open about owning such products, or at least being out and about with them.
The most important thing is that you take the time to look after your wellbeing through masturbation.
